LIZ SAYS: Beginning sometime around the first of the month these days began. First Day, the dishwasher decided to shimmy out of the cabinet and break its door. The factory closes for Christmas holidays in early December, so the door will be made sometime after mid-January when the factory opens back up, post fetes. No partridge, no pear tree. Second Day, there was the hint of gas in the air. Every time Dick opened the silverware drawer, he smelled gas. I could smell it sometimes, but had no idea where it came from. We got a repairman in who found the source of the leak was an improper fitting that allowed gas to seep out into the drawer. Could there be a couple of turtle doves? Third Day(s), a little bit of snow creates havoc in Europe. It falls almost everyday . It’s beautiful, it doesn’t stick but it has mystical powers on this side of the pond. Most public transportation slows or closes down and everyone drives faster so they can slide around a lot. This snowfall causes gardens and public places to close “for our safety”. I don’t think I have seen one snow shovel. Now, I have to note that, Dick just read me a story about a strike in France that caused a shortage of de-icing fluid at the French airports. Could it be the snow is not the problem? Aw, come on, gimme 3 french hens? Fourth Day, we had a great fete with friends. I made a capon. The bird was specially bred and fed only yellow corn. It was gorgeous. I found a recipe for a dijon mustard, cider vinegar, bacon butter treatment that made it fabulous. We had a wonderful time. It was so perfect because we had all had bad days, but this was a time just to relax and have a good time. Ah, life is looking up again. Yes! four calling birds. Fifth Day, I had had enough of the water heater’s antics and decided to demand that it make enough hot water for a whole shower. It loved to turn the water ice cold just as soon as I was completely covered with soap. The repairman came two days after we called and said he would need a part and would come the next day around noon to finish the repair. In the meantime, no hot water, no heat. Not getting anywhere near those 5 golden rings! Sixth Day, I was awakened in the early morning by a constant soft beeping sound. After searching all over the apartment, I couldn’t decide where it was coming from but it was somewhere in the kitchen. Finally, I woke up Dick. I had already decided it was his phone asking for a recharge. Uh no, smartiepants. It’s the fridge. It’s warm. No leftovers for us. Everything was warm and moist inside the evil pointless white box. Okay, no use for calling birds. Call the repairman. They can come by Tuesday after Christmas. You know those lovely cast iron balconies, well ours has plastic containers of food on it and a bottle of milk. Six geese a laying on my balcony? That brings us today, Christmas eve. The sky is gray, the snow is blowing, the apartment is warm and the fridge decided to reset itself, for no apparent reason it started doing its job again. Dare we cancel the repairman? It’s a Christmas miracle! Or Festivus for the rest of us! Tra-la-la,la-la,la-la,la,la.
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